Catching the drops in the lockdown..

As I stretched my hand to catch some drops from the drizzly sky today… I thought of my days packed within the four walls in the last few months ..

I was complaining of being trapped in the house but had I felt what it is to be free when I was free, I laughed at myself.

Do we ever do things that we really want to do? Don’t we compromise on things to keep others happy, why do we become so myopic when it comes to fulfill our dreams. Wasn’t my life just about adjusting with the situations to let it pass through a phase.

Some decisions were mine and some were not, but why did I have to live with the decisions once I had realized they were wrong?

Why do we stick with the decisions we take/ why we find so difficult to speak up, What is this identity that we create in front of the society that we cant break?

Did I always wanted to be this person who looks so perfect from outside that people have nothing to talk about? What is this about people who speak so well of you when you make those sacrifices? is an unhappy life worth those good things that people talk about you?

The lockdown may have locked me down within the four walls, but when have been free I ask myself?

What is it to be free? Do I know that anymore? I keep asking myself when were you so free that now you feel trapped now ?

Is this all life about? the moments that I lived, are those enough to live my life that lies ahead, was there all that was there to keep me going now?Is the life indicating to accept all the harsh realities now that I need to face?

I wonder if life would have been different had I changed few turns and steps in the past, did i ignore things that needed to be changed much earlier I ask?what is that I miss the most in life now? is it life I ask?